The Manly Man's Pledge of Friendship
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I do hereby pledge that:
1. When you are sad, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against
the sorry SOB who made you sad.
2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you
3. When you smile, I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much
worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused, I will use little words.
7. When you are sick, I will stay the hell away from you because I don't
want whatever you've got.
8. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy behind.
This is my oath, and I pledge it to the end. Why, you may ask?
Because you are my friend
And Friendship is like peeing your pants
Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.